Your woman may be cool, but know she ain't no damn fool.

I've been on a evolutionary path. I wanna have a healthy relationship, I'm learning how to handle things well. I'm not worried about things reverting to how they once were. I'm not tryna look back anymore.

I just hope he says what he means, and means what he says.

The sky is the limit
Reality is bumping into my desire to acheive high, and I'm tempted to reach for the stars! But yet, I'm still concerned with my work(the quality). AAAGHHHHH, I gotta get summer school over with-______-.

I am the entree, you ain't gonna need no damn sidedish.

If you wanna play a game, I ain't playing.. It'll be GAME OVER. Cos I ain't with it. It was either get with it or get fuckiiiin' lost. You got soo much to say, but understand that you had to prove me wrong.. You're the one who has to try. I know what I deserve and what I'm worth. I ain't no fcking fool, I don't delt with the bullshit before. Play your fucking cards right for a change, cos you ain't needed. I'd rather be alone than with some dude, whose doing the same old thang.. It's old, so get with the program.

Open up your eyes and see what we could be.

I'm holding back my love for you, and I know we won't grow if I don't let it go.. but I wanna see how serious you are about us. But I've seen your trying, you've changed, learned and realized. But as much as I see it all, everything before is still stuck in my dome and keeps me where I am. I don't know what to do.. I'm just afraid, scared and in fear.. Of feeling how I once did, by taking a risk. Giving you my trust and you neglecting it or getting my love and abusing it. To feel it, twice as bad as the last time is the consequence if I let down my guard. Can you understand that..?? I wanna get better, I wannna be good. It's just gonna take time..

On Your End Its Simple

All you have to do is give me no reason for other lovers after you .

3250860908 Some is what you realized, just not enough to understand.

I will believe what I may, but I will try to get over it. As I wanna recover from it and have forgiven it, I will never forget it. I can't. It's nothing easy, if anything it's hard. This is something that made the biggest change in myself. With trust, and that is everything to me. The feeling of with what had happened made a huge and badd, yet good effect on me. I see how I act, I know how I do. Though I still see me, and who I am. Who I've become and became.

And most of the time I don't mean to, but I keep it pushing. I'm shoving... And I can't stop myself, so all I expect from all this is to be left. With or without him. And if it happens, I guess it does. Cos I see all the signs all over again. I know wat I started in the beginning, and what I kept up even till now. And there's consequences to that. But if one is truly worth having they'll go through the roughest of things no matter how hard the wall is. Cos real love is stronger than that. They'll get through the ups and downs, and we've had huge ones yet got over them. Which I'm hoping to with the last ones... Though I know a person can only handle soo much, a person can bare so much hurt in one organ. Just one organ, like wow. It was like a POW TO MY CHEST!

To never imagine feeling that down, to come back up again and just build their wall 107456789x times stronger.. To have their guard up at all times and wear their heart on their sleeve like they once did before fallling in thatttt deeep when you told yourself you never wanted to end up in that position. All I wanna do is get mines, and get it bad. I'm losing it, I'm losing him. But I still do love him, an always will. If he gives up that's his choice, he'll have it. But that's just the easy way, yup. But I do know what I want and once had.. I wanna be with this guy. I know what I had with him, and I led it to how it ended up and where it will now. Yet part of, is him. I know what I do is complicating. I know how I am is difficult and who I am is confusing.

Just can you understand why?

When I love, I LOVE. When I care, I care. I treat that person who means a lot in my life, right. I treat them how they wanna be treated. I let them know I want them to be in my life and a part. I don't not. Cos its what I want, it's how I feel. I put it out there and I ain't scared to show it. I do what I can, and I give my best an the most I can give. Though I'm maddddddddd crazy saying all the most mean/hatred crap outta my mouth!? I MAKE UP FOR IT. I know how my attitude is, and ITS BAD. My temper can be out of control. And at times I let it, I let it take control. Cos I've cared tooo damn much.. I gave me, I gave what I could and had. I gave my all to one person! TO LET ME DOWN!!! It only takes one person to do so much, an change your life. I want the passion, affection, time attenion and respect I give.. I wanna receive what they get from me!! I want them to understand I wanna feel all that. I want that pure and real love. Cos I cherish every moment I have with that person and I know damn well they see it. Their just too damn blind to see that I truly love them but I'm just too damn afraid to falll soooo deep and feeel soo low all over agin. That it just automaticlly puhed now, ever since all the damn mistakes and deceivement and false is started. I'm not dumb. I've seen, I've heard, Ive experienced.. Maybe not all, but from what I had/have I just want a guy who will speak out and put out the respect I&him will need. I need someone who'll put in effot and work with me on us. TOGETHER! Someone who'll make me feel secure and be able to trust, wherever they are doing whatever their doing. Someone who gives reassurance, and just makes me feel like the only damn one. One that'll show their grattitude and appreciation. One that is thankful for all i've done. One that will love me for me. For who I am and how I am and will accept my flaws and looked passed my imperfections. I want that boy i fell in love with.. from febvday07-07summer and always had hope on. One that doesn't need to lose me to realize what he HAS. And one that desn't lose himself because who he's with or around.. Or does dumbass favors for their lameasss homeboy just because their dumbass can't get none but hoes. But best believe I don't need no dumbass man who does favors and does shit for their homie. Cos that just proves he's the still same little boy I once knew at that moment and time when he messed up. SAME SHIT, ANDI DON'T NEED IT. I don't wanna deal with it. I want a boy away from it. From that little kid shit, and matures up a bit. He is nothing close to the boy I knew. He changed, and yeah changes come buif lovewas strong that wouln't change. And it did.. for him. Never did for me, even now. He just doesn't get it, and he ddesn't see it. If he wants me to OPEN MY EYES, he should and actually look at wht he's become. Cos I don't like it, I may love him but that ain't helping us out.